


The Girlfriends' Club

by PoorMedea



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorMedea/pseuds/PoorMedea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is invited to attend a weekly meeting of the One Direction Girlfriends' Club. And that's not even the weird part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Girlfriends' Club

Nick stared at his computer screen, completely nonplussed. 

Earlier that day he had received the strangest phone call:

“Nick? This is Eleanor.”

He paused, frowning. 

“Eleanor Calder?”

“Um?” Nick bit his lip thoughtfully. For some reason the name rang a bell.

The girl on the line sighed deeply. “Louis’s girlfriend.”

Nick gnawed on his thumbnail. Did he know many Louises?

“Oh for the love of—Louis _Tomlinson_. From One Direction.”

“Oh!” Yes, that was a Louis he knew. But, still… “Why are you calling me?” He didn’t think he’d ever even met Tomlinson’s girlfriend.

“Well, you’ve been dating Harry for awhile now…”

“What? No I haven’t,” Nick interjected, alarmed. The girl sighed again. She seemed to do that quite a lot, actually.

“Grimshaw, Louis does actually tell me things. I know you’re dating Harry. And that’s why I’m calling. I’m inviting you to the weekly Girlfriends of One Direction meeting.”

“The _what_ now?”

“It happens on Skype. 7 p.m. tonight. Be ready.”

And then she hung up on him.

~

So now Nick was staring at his computer, Skype open on the screen. He had strongly considered being absolutely anywhere else come 7 pm, but he had to admit that he was morbidly curious. So here he was.

At five to seven a contact request popped up from “1DGC”, which was possibly the most embarrassing thing he had ever seen.

That is, until the call actually came through.

Three little boxes opened on his screen, each displaying a pretty girl. The blonde in the lower right corner—the only one of the three Nick actually knew—loudly struck what looked like a hairbrush against the desk in front of her. 

“Here ye, here ye! I now call this meeting of the Girlfriend’s Club to order,” she said imperiously, still banging. Nick winced back from his screen, hurrying to turn the volume down.

“Perrie!” The brunette who must be Eleanor snapped. “Stop it. That’s not even a real gavel.”

Perrie looked down at the brush in her hand consideringly. “You think I should buy a gavel?”

Eleanor gave a long-suffering sigh. “No. No one in the whole entire world thinks you should buy a gavel.”

“But then how will I—”

“Perrie, darling,” the third girl said gently. _Danielle_ , if Nick’s cursory research that afternoon had been correct. The dancer. “I think Eleanor just wants to get started.”

“Fine,” Perrie sulked, dropping the hairbrush.

Nick really wished he’d thought to pour himself some wine.

“Our first order of business,” Eleanor began. “Is to welcome our newest member, Nick Grimshaw. Hi, Nick!”

The three girls waved enthusiastically from their individual boxes.

“Um, hello,” Nick said delicately.

“I really think now that Nick’s here we should change our name,” Perrie said.

Eleanor scoffed. “Oh, Nick doesn’t mind being part of the _girl_ friend’s club, do you babe? He’s _gay_ , after all.”

“And you are an expert on gay men,” Danielle muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” the dancer said hurriedly. “How’s the tour, Pez?”

Perrie sighed. “It’s fine, I guess. I have to answer so many questions about Zayn, though.”

Now that was something Nick could relate to. He kept silent, though. He was only going to let himself be dragged so far into this travesty.

She sank back in her chair, crossing her arms. “And half of them are about the cheating rumors! I don’t know why that boy can’t keep what he does with his dick under wraps,” she snorted. “Metaphorically, that is. I hope he’s _literally_ keeping it under wraps.”

Eleanor groaned, wrinkling her nose.

“Speaking of what our boyfriends get up to,” Danielle interjected. “I notice Louis and Liam have been spending a lot of time together. A _lot_.”

Eleanor picked at her nails. “So?”

“So…” Danielle prompted, her brow furrowed.

“You know Danielle, you always insist your boyfriend is one-hundred percent straight,” Eleanor said wryly. “So I don’t know why it matters how much time he spends _all alone_ with my boyfriend.”

Nick’s gaze darted between the two girls, eyes wide. Perrie, still slumped down in her chair, was openly laughing.

“Liam is straight!” Danielle protested. 

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Louis—”

Eleanor narrowed her eyes at the screen. “Louis what?”

“Nothing,” Danielle subsided. “Just, is that a new outfit?”

If Eleanor caught what Danielle was insinuating, she didn’t seem to care. She smoothed a hand down her satin coveralls, smiling. “It is. Louis had it sent in from France.”

“That’s sweet,” Perrie said encouragingly, while Danielle rolled her eyes.

“So what about you, Nick?” Eleanor asked. “How are things going with Harry now that he’s on tour? Concerned about the cheating rumors?”

Nick bristled. “Are you?”

Perrie snorted loudly. “Louis’s the only one who never has cheating rumors.”

“He’s a very good boyfriend,” Eleanor said primly. 

“Zayn could certainly learn a thing or two from him,” Perrie agreed cheerfully. “I mean, letting the girl take _pictures_?” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “He’s so dumb sometimes.”

Nick was, frankly, having trouble following who was allegedly sleeping with whom in this conversation.

“Well, Danielle knows all about that.”

“Liam isn’t cheating on me!” Danielle said, a little hysterically.

Perrie giggled. “I don’t think that’s what Eleanor was implying.”

Danielle frowned, and then her brown eyes widened. “Louis failed his A levels.”

“But at least he took them,” Eleanor said sweetly. “Besides, Louis has business-savvy.”

“The 1D stores _were_ a good idea,” Perrie agreed. 

“If that boy could print his face on dirt, he’d try to sell it,” Danielle said.

“And people would buy it,” Eleanor countered smugly. “Speaking of which, I’m going to have to cut this short. I’ve got a train to catch to London tonight. Store opening tomorrow.”

“What are they paying you?” 

“2000 quid store credit.”

Perrie let out a low whistle. “Get it, girl.”

“Can you _please_ tell your boyfriend to lay off my boyfriend?” Danielle begged.

“Fine, whatever,” Eleanor rolled her eyes. “I’ll get Louis to leave your _super straight_ boyfriend alone.” She offered the camera a bright smile. “Welcome to the club, Nick! Great to have you!” Her little box went dark.

“But do you think?” Danielle whined.

“No,” Perrie said, placating. “I don’t think Liam and Louis are sleeping together. Liam loves you.”

“Well…” Danielle gnawed at her lip.

“I’ve got to pop off, too, love. Got a hot date!”

“Aren’t you in America?” Nick blurted.

“Yes?”

“And isn’t Zayn in Scotland?”

Perrie let out a high-pitched laugh. “I don’t have a date with _Zayn_ , silly.”

“But he’s your boyfriend?”

“And I’ll see him when we’re in the same country. For right now, though, there’s a roadie called ‘Brad’ with my name on him.” She leaned close to the camera, smirking. “And I actually know how to keep these things quiet.” She winked and then the camera disconnected.

Nick was left staring, uncomprehending, at Danielle. 

“Don’t look at me,” the girl shrugged. “But they’re the only ones who actually know what it’s like. You’ll come to rely on them. See you next week!”

Nick blinked as his desktop background—a picture of the Wanted—came back into view. He groped for his phone.

 _Turns out we have the most normal relationship in the world_ , he texted Harry.

Sure, he might be secretly dating a closeted boybander nine years younger than him, but he had _nothing_ on those girls.


End file.
